Sometimes you try all the right things and get rewarded. Other times you do the same and there is no benefit.
Two and as half years ago we moved back to China. There were many reasons. I have a great job doing something I love, we can save more money and the kids get to experience another side of their heritage.
Is it worth admitting at this time my main priority in coming back?
Of course, Tingwen had experienced serious post natal depression after the birth of our first son and looked to be sliding back again after our second. When she suggested it I leapt on the idea, no really because I wanted to come back, but because I thought it would help.
And it did, for a while. She showed more empathy and understanding than at any time in the previous few years and the whole thing went pretty well.
A year ago, it started to slip again. Now we're pretty close to back where we were, plenty of good days but apocalyptic episodes in between.
Two months ago, one outburst prompted a terrifying shift. I pretty much stopped caring. Sure, I still love her and (of course) the kids, but I don't feel close to her any more and each outburst drives that wedge in deeper.
In the midst of this, a local friend has just started to experience what looks like post natal depression from his wife. So here's me trying to help him, whilst worried about being a hypocrite.